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[Electric]Eric's LiveJournal:
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| Sunday, November 30th, 2008 | | 11:57 pm |
| | Monday, November 24th, 2008 | | 12:52 am |
So awhile back I posted this list of goals that I was making: Short term goals (By the end of this year):
1) Find a hobby - I get so bored and lonely here that I end up thinking way to much and freaking myself out about everything. Honestly its ridiculous how worked up I get over such little things. I figure if I have some sort of hobby it'll be able to keep my mind off her and well everything. Correction: Its not that I want to keep my mind off her, I love her and just thinking about her makes me smile. It just drives me crazy being away from her.
2) Be better off financially - The navy owes me $4,400 as of right now with an additional $1,100 each month they dont pay up. I need that money, right now I'm living beyond my means and its bothering me. I never planned on using my credit card for anything and nor do I want to. But rent, bills, and coming home in October (Plus the plans I want to do) costs quite a bit. Lol.
Long term (No timeline):
1) Get Amys' amazing self to move in with me - I thing it would be amazing. I just dont want to put to much pressure on her buttttttt I would give anything to be able to come home to her......
2) Stop hating the navy so much - Easier said then done. I have a little under 3 years left and if I continue to hate the navy as much as I do now its going to be a lonnnnng 3 years. If I can learn to deal with it or accept it possibly even enjoy it at times it might make things go faster. Would also be easier to deal with if amy was out here lol.
3) Be more health conscious - I eat like a 12 year old. Truly. Its kinda funny, I love lunchables, junk food, and mountain dew. So I want to start eating healthier and exercising more. Im by no means overweight lol. But I would like more definition if that makes any sense. I was thinking of getting a bike after winter is over and ride that around more then drive, among other things.
4) Decided what I want to be when I grow up - I was putting it off for a while. One of the reason why I joined the navy actually. But I want to start working on my degree. But in what? Any suggestions?
Anyways I figured I'd give an update as to where I'm at with each. Sort of a reminder to both you and me.
Short term:
1) I've really gotten back in photography lately. Which is fun. And I dont know if I this is a goal or not but I've also been getting into the Green movement. I find it pretty exciting.
2) I finally got the navy to give me the money they owed me. Nice little paycheck there. Now I'm saving up. For what? You'll find out.
Long term:
1) Thats what I'm saving up for actually. Sep 09 Amy is moving out to VA with me. So we're saving because we're going to drive across country (ROADTRIP! :) and get our own place. Including buying furniture.
2) I still hate the navy, but with amy moving out here it should be helpful being able to see her almost every night.
3) I really havent done much with this one at all. I plan to stop drinking mountain dew and start running this month though.
4) Still have no idea but I'm studying for both the SAT and ACT so thats a step in the right direction.
I have another goal i'm going to add to my long term list:
5) Climb Mt Rainier- Always wanted to do it ever since I've first laid eyes on her. Its gonna happen.
Current Mood:  restless | | Monday, September 8th, 2008 | | 8:48 pm |
Reflections.
Short term goals (By the end of this year): 1) Find a hobby - I get so bored and lonely here that I end up thinking way to much and freaking myself out about everything. Honestly its ridiculous how worked up I get over such little things. I figure if I have some sort of hobby it'll be able to keep my mind off her and well everything. Correction: Its not that I want to keep my mind off her, I love her and just thinking about her makes me smile. It just drives me crazy being away from her. 2) Be better off financially - The navy owes me $4,400 as of right now with an additional $1,100 each month they dont pay up. I need that money, right now I'm living beyond my means and its bothering me. I never planned on using my credit card for anything and nor do I want to. But rent, bills, and coming home in October (Plus the plans I want to do) costs quite a bit. Lol. Long term (No timeline): 1) Get Amys' amazing self to move in with me - I thing it would be amazing. I just dont want to put to much pressure on her buttttttt I would give anything to be able to come home to her...... 2) Stop hating the navy so much - Easier said then done. I have a little under 3 years left and if I continue to hate the navy as much as I do now its going to be a lonnnnng 3 years. If I can learn to deal with it or accept it possibly even enjoy it at times it might make things go faster. Would also be easier to deal with if amy was out here lol. 3) Be more health conscious - I eat like a 12 year old. Truly. Its kinda funny, I love lunchables, junk food, and mountain dew. So I want to start eating healthier and exercising more. Im by no means overweight lol. But I would like more definition if that makes any sense. I was thinking of getting a bike after winter is over and ride that around more then drive, among other things. 4) Decided what I want to be when I grow up - I was putting it off for a while. One of the reason why I joined the navy actually. But I want to start working on my degree. But in what? Any suggestions? Thats all I got for now. I'll probably think of some more later. I've been feeling pretty overwhelmed lately and I figure if I have something concrete written down I'll follow it more. Ugh. I just want to come home and be done with the navy. I want to be a real boyfriend to amy. Blah. | | Tuesday, August 19th, 2008 | | 8:41 pm |
Do you ever feel boring? Like the people you care most about are going to become uninterested in you because well your boring. :\ Ugh, I'm just scared about losing the people most important to me. | | Wednesday, August 13th, 2008 | | 8:52 pm |
Things are really starting to look up. Greatest update I've had is: ME AND AMY ARE BACK TOGETHER!!! Yay. <3 Current Mood:  ecstatic | | Sunday, August 10th, 2008 | | 10:21 pm |
I never am satified. I finally think I've come across my central problem. I'm never happy with what I have. I need to start looking on the bright side. I might not have a lot of friends. But I have the quality. Amazing friends. Plus I've got amy. I might hate my job but its giving me free college. I may be broke but payday is never more then 15 days away. I've got love. I've got family. I've got friends. I've lost faith but I've got morals. I'm smart, healthy, and young. Its time to stop being disgruntled with life. I put myself here and I'll be damned if I cant get myself where I want to be. Werd. <3 Current Mood:  refreshed | | Saturday, August 9th, 2008 | | 9:30 pm |
This picture seems to fit my mood right now. Alone, lost in my thoughts with no color to my life.  | | Thursday, August 7th, 2008 | | 10:37 pm |
Ever have a secret that soooo good that it just eats away at you? You know the kind where you have to tell someone?? Yeah, I got one of those. Current Mood:  anxious | | Thursday, July 31st, 2008 | | 12:54 am |
She loves me. And misses me. This lady is gonna be the death of me lol. And I can't imagine any other way to go.  | | 12:31 am |
I love her, so fucking much. I just gotta keep my sanity till october and win her back. Easier said then done. I'm a crazy person. You all know it. Fuck. October. . | | 12:25 am |
You know as time goes on i'm moving away from feeling depressed (which is good cause I've gotten drunk every night this week just so I can sleep, lol i've actually got a bottle of wine in bed with me right now) anyways moving away from being depressed to pissed off. Actually more confused and somewhat pissed yet still depressed. Why does the best decision for her feel like the worst decision for me? Ugh i just want her to be happy and i'm not gonna lie i would like to be happy too again. I know she made me happy and i'm pretty sure i made her happy. God damn this situation. I understand where shes coming from and why she made the decisions she has but holy hell does it still fuck with me. I'm gonna slap the next person that says loves easy. Straight up bitch slap cause they dont know a goddamn thing. I shoul dgo to bed. Night. | | Thursday, July 24th, 2008 | | 1:54 am |
I miss her so fucking much. Just gotta make it to october. Gotta make it to october Gotta make it to october Gotta make it to october Gotta make it to october Gotta make it to october Gotta make it to october Gotta make it to october Gotta make it to october Gotta make it to october Gotta make it to october Gotta make it to october Gotta make it to october  Current Mood:  hopeful | | Friday, July 4th, 2008 | | 10:36 pm |
I miss her so fucking much. Current Mood:  depressed | | Sunday, June 29th, 2008 | | 2:51 am |
So after catching up and reading a lot of posts I just want to say that you guys are so lucky. I'm envious. Really. I wish I could trade places with a lot of you. Even the painful moments that you guys talk about. Dont take anything, feelings, moments, nothing for granted. This probably wont mean much to you, but I felt I should still say it. I love and miss you all. Oh the navy offered me 75,000 dollars (yes seventy five thousand) to do an additional 4 years after my original time is up. I told them no today. <3 Ebrown@ffg59.navy.mil Current Mood:  amusedCurrent Music: iPod Shuffle | | Monday, March 3rd, 2008 | | 6:53 pm |
Wow I forgot this thing existed. Hi everybody. <3 | | Monday, August 6th, 2007 | | 9:52 pm |
I know I've posted entry like this before. And I don't like doing it. But why does this keep happening to me? As you've probably guessed this hangs around my happiness or lack there of. With everything that I have I still have that inablitly to be happy. Almost like I'm trying to force happiness. FUCK FUCK FUCK. I don't know what I'm supposed to do. Why is this not easy? Why am I cursed. Why do I alienate those I love. WHy do I close myself in this box and even on a supposed journal I can not write what I'm really thinking. Am I holding back? Yes I am. Some things just aren't ment for the internet. But those things are the same things that I can't say to anyone and because of that reason how the fuck am I supposed to get better? Honestly, for those of you who know the story of my real dad; I'm beginning to understand why he did it. I wish he was here to help | | Tuesday, May 29th, 2007 | | 12:18 pm |
I'M IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA FUCK AFRICA! I go to reactivate my phone. Expect calls. | | Saturday, April 14th, 2007 | | 12:30 pm |
An inverted look at boredom, A collection of thoughts.
I'm bored. And I love it. For the first time in 5 months I'm bored out of my fucking mind and its 6:30pm. I've hit every website I could think of, started downloads of every band I feel I've missed, caught up on emails. Today didn't even start off as a boring day. It started off busy like normal. We had Force Protection training, which I'm heavily involved in the training aspect of it. Come 11 though "Brown get the hell out of here." Don't have to tell me twice, I was outta there. After checking my bank account for the first time since africa, ate some subway, I some how find myself in the wireless cafe on base. Oh, I'm in Rota, Spain. I don't know what to do with myself. I sat here for about 3 hours before I had done everything I wanted or at least could remember. I had to do something, so I figured I'd get up and go for a walk. Its a beautiful day outside and I'm in a contemplative mood. Tossed both Bloc Party cds I have and I went for a walk. Mix of good music, a amazingly beautiful day, and being by myself for the first time in 5 months just hit me in the right way. I just loved it, I could've gone walking for days. Everything I've seen of africa just washed away. Africa was an expericene. An exerience that I'm glad I partook in but never want to do again. For those who wish to try and change the world. Make it safer/better/cleaner for everyone, well most Africa is hopless. Why? For the simple fact that they won't help themselves. Lets take the country of Senegal, heck we'll bring it down to a specific city: Dakar. The city that I was threatened with a knife. It is a city designed for 500,000 people. 2 Million live there, 1 million of them with out jobs. Not the governments fault though, they've set up countless jobs similar to what Roosevelt did to bring us out of the Great Depression. But its easier to beg on the side of the streets to very few tourists that pass by. You had your chance. I really don't know where I'm going with this so. POST! Rome was amazing though. | | Tuesday, March 6th, 2007 | | 3:35 pm |
Whats up peeps? I'm chillin in Sao Tome. This little island off the coast of africa at this hotel thats costing me a hundred bucks a night but I needed off the ship. All is well on my side, getting pretty stessed out at times but I'm dealing with it pretty well. Would like to hear from you guys more often I get the occasional myspace comment and message but I can't respond to those at all. Still good to know I'm thought about. Ebrown@ffg59.navy.mil You know the drill. I love and miss all you guys. Almost done with deployment and I havent died yet. Might not either way things are looking :P | | Sunday, February 4th, 2007 | | 4:02 am |
Hey guys, I'm still alive. Just a quick note, I'm not supposed to be on Lj but I got pass the firewalls for a bit because I've lost all my old emails from you guys including your email addresses. So please if you ever get a chance email me that way I can email you back and bitch about how much africa sucks. Lol. It does though. I almost got stabbed. No joke. Well I love and miss you guys and its looking like I should be back around June time frame. Heres my email if needed: ebrown@ffg59.navy.mil Current Music: One Headlight- The Wallflowers |
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